I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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