Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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