I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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