So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
