I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
