Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
