if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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