Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
