My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
