I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
