my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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