it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I will pee on everything he values.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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