NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just found puke in my bra..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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