we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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