my mouth tastes like poor choices
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
