i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
