So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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