Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
