I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
