P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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