What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
