I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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