can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
