We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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