Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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