I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
