In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
