he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
