Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
