i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
