He kissed a someone with a penis
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
