is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
