white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I showed him my bush... on skype.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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