I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
