new low.... made out with someone while peeing
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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