Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
