32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
