"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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