You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
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