try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
