I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
