I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
