I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
