my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
