I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
