And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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