Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
