I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
