the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
