We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
